Last night I went to see Dark Knight Rises and for the first time, a movie mirrored my current being and the events that lead up to it. The night before I struggled to sleep after finding out personal bad news and was disrupted by loud noises a machine cutting down a massive tree was making. Then I woke up to a nightmare that is the Colorado theater shooting. I didn't want to go anymore after reading the news but I did, unsettled; more so than I already was. I wish I could say because I was hopeful but I wasn't. I had a feeling it was a foreshadowing and that the silver lining, a bleak one, is that I wasn't alone feeling this way.

It wasn't even noon yet.

The stress continued to pile up and I was drowning. I was angry and got into an argument with my habitually late friend despite my planning and wishing to avoid the situation. The theater was packed  and  I had to settle for seats so angled  and so close to the screen that I was reminded in the film's entirety (it was lengthy at 2 hours and 45 minutes) how hopeless and unpleasant I feel. It was a metaphor of the shitty spot my life, the thing I'm supposed to be enjoying, is in. Then I left the theater and realized it's been a long time since I've been out this late. And saw and felt the darkest.

photo via facebook

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